Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I don't wanna look like that, oh you make me breakout

Many things have been encircling my mind lately, and most have to do with self-improvement, my own expectations of life, others and myself, and the ability to seize the day more effectively. I have been accused of over-thinking things before--I wouldn't deny that it happens more than with which I am comfortable. Tonight I realized that not only am I a difficult person to please, but it's equally difficult to please myself. Several times per day, something will stimulate and excite me, but I need a worthy follow-up to keep my contentment satiated. I create missions for myself that wouldn't make sense to anyone else, and it only "makes things right" for my mind to handle later. (Even all that was much to digest, for myself included.)

I have been in this arm cast for a little over a couple weeks now. (For those who are not aware, I broke a bone in my wrist in a bicycle accident. A wood piece flipped up into my spokes during an evening work commute, causing me to fly over my handlebars. I broke my entire fall with my left hand...I think--I don't remember the impact at all.) Prior to this burden, I was riding 20 to 32 miles per day for a work commute. I felt healthy, I apparently looked healthy, and the peaceful zen I experienced during each ride was unlike anything I had felt. Now I sleep later, I feel less rested, and my body feels like a scrunched object that constantly needs to be stretched. I can't applaud, daily tasks are more difficult, and I obviously cannot bike or even deliver my repaired bike to my apartment. Realistically, it's not very feasible to even run. Think sweaty cast: ick.

Well, I'm fed up. I so badly want to start running again, craving that personal time to myself and nothing else. My decision today tomorrow in spite of the circumstances was an easy one. That also involved finally attacking something that has bothered me for years: finding a healthy yet filling breakfast option. Thanks to the internet, I found some interesting guides for my mission. Smaller portions, more portions, more sleep, more accountability. Tomorrow's breakfast will be toast with peanut butter and banana slices. I feel that this is exciting journey through trial, in order to avoid spending $5.95 on a Sausage and Egg McMuffin Value Meal. (I can thank the Monopoly promotion for that.)

Oh, and the run. Well, I had plans to run my first 5K next weekend, but it looks like that won't be happening, due to the cast. However, I would like to run *a* race before the weather turns very cold, and this hindrance will not stop me...even though I'm basically running from scratch again. Ursuline Academy's Run for the Lions 5K is on Sunday, November 16, which is about a week-and-a-half away. It falls during the same weekend when Emilie visits, so I'm not sure how thrilled she'd be about it: she's only here for about 2 days.

I plan on following a careful, safe running schedule to achieve whatever race I end up running this fall. I am convinced, based on feedback from virtual associates, that I will be able to run longer and faster in a race than I expect. The 99th Annual Thanksgiving Day Race is a 10K in downtown Cincinnati. My ultimate goal *was* that race. Following the aforementioned theory, I am going to follow a consistent schedule, and by the eve of race day, I will decide if I want to take the plunge.

Finally, on the running topic, I don't feel like I currently know anyone from whom I can find inspiration or common goals. This is why I suppose I have drawn inspiration from running blogs of some truly inspirational people. I *do* feel a bit lonely in my quest, but I know that I'll find satisfaction in my semi-daily runs, no matter how grueling. I absolutely need this, to expel all the bad energy that dwells in me after too much inactivity.

I will say that there is no shortage of inspiration these days. Thank Barack Obama for exhibiting such a heartwarming model for perseverance.

Tomorrow I will post a very triumphant photo of myself in running gear and an awkward arm cast. I *will* run tomorrow!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Running is awesome. Way to go. How was it?

Also, sorry that I never followed through with the call. Life has been completely insane for me over the past few weeks, and I have been barely hanging on. I am hopeful that it is almost over. :)